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Brevity

November 5, 2006 by Don Radlauer 11 Comments

Ernest Hemingway once wrote what must be the world’s shortest short story:

For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

According to Wired Magazine, he considered it his single best work. I’m not sure if it’s really Hemingway’s best story – certainly it wouldn’t work well as a summer vacation read, except perhaps for a very short visit to the beach – but one must admit that in six short words, Hemingway managed to imply a much longer story, with genuine emotional impact. (With its combination of pathos and brevity, it could, perhaps, serve as a bedtime story for constitutionally cheerful narcoleptics; so even in purely practical terms, the story is a winner of sorts.)

There is a lesson here for writers – a lesson that Hemingway himself understood well, even though most of his work was more prolix than his six-word masterpiece: Don’t try to say everything.

Wired Magazine invited a bunch of science-fiction, fantasy, and horror writers to compose their own six-word stories; here are some of my favorites:

Margaret Atwood Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
Corpse parts missing. Doctor buys yacht.
Starlet sex scandal. Giant squid involved.
David Brin

Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love.
Mind of its own. Damn lawnmower.
Orson Scott Card The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
Howard Chaykin “I couldn’t believe she’d shoot me.”
[This one resonates with me, considering that I’m an outgunned husband.]
Brian Herbert Epitaph: He shouldn’t have fed it.
Robert Jordan Heaven falls. Details at eleven.
James Patrick Kelly We kissed. She melted. Mop please!

Steven Meretzky He read his obituary with confusion.
Time traveler’s thought: “What’s the password?”
I win lottery. Sun goes nova.
Steve ignores editor’s word limit and
Parallel universe. Bush, destitute, joins army.
Richard K. Morgan K.I.A. Baghdad, Aged 18 – Closed Casket

Rockne S. O’Bannon It’s behind you! Hurry before it

Richard Powers

Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.
Charles Stross

Osama’s time machine: President Gore concerned.
Vernor Vinge

Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.

Some of these are telegraphic plot summaries; others take the form of news headlines, epitaphs, and the like. Many of them made me laugh, and one – the one about a soldier killed in Iraq – approaches Hemingway’s masterpiece in its terse description of tragedy and bereavement (although I’m not sure if counting “K.I.A.” as one word constitutes cheating).

I am not a writer of fiction; I’ve tried, and I simply don’t have the knack. However, if Papa Hemingway and all these others can write six-word stories, I don’t see why I can’t try my hand at writing some six-word blog posts. Given my tendency to blather on, I’m sure the multitudes reading this blog (and while they are indeed very small multitudes, they are most definitely multitudinous) will appreciate my valiant effort to achieve brevity.

So without further ado, I present my first three attempts at writing The Great Six-Word Israeli blog post:

  • Free Palestine! Limit one per customer.
  • Caroline Glick: All is lost! Panic!
  • No Cabinet ministers indicted – slow day.


Elegant, no? And while the first may be more of a bumper sticker than a blog post (I may have more to say about potential bumper stickers, but that’s for later), the second and third seem to me to make rather good blog articles all by themselves.

And so, an invitation: Submit your six-word blog posts! This may* become a contest! There may be prizes! Stay tuned!

* (if enough of you submit entries)

Categories: Blog, Blogging, Caroline Glick.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

About Don Radlauer

Comments

  1. VSW says

    November 5, 2006 at 19:03

    Would-be Jihadi trips boarding bus; PIJ trained!

    Reply
  2. lisoosh says

    November 5, 2006 at 19:59

    Punctual today, of all possible days.

    Room to let: must be flexible.

    Three dead, two wounded, one missing.

    Reply
  3. superstar says

    November 5, 2006 at 20:51

    life just good

    Reply
  4. hot coffee girl says

    November 5, 2006 at 21:01

    Coffee, unlike her heart, was warm.

    She stopped the tears forever … again.

    Shortly, she longed to be tall.

    She understood confusion with perfect clarity.

    Reply
  5. Don Radlauer says

    November 5, 2006 at 21:33

    So, we’re off and running…

    V.S.W.: Nice try; bad math.

    Lisoosh: Interesting…

    Superstar: Kudos on th’ brevity; doesn’t tell much of a story, though.

    H.C.G.: Strong contender. Blogrolling me makes a good bribe!

    Keep ’em coming, folks – at this rate, we’ll have a real contest. Which means I’ll have to find a prize. Anyone want a cat?

    Reply
  6. VSW says

    November 5, 2006 at 21:42

    Blogger dead in flame-war with wife.

    Reply
  7. Batya says

    November 6, 2006 at 05:57

    How about four words?
    Sun shining, changed plans.

    Reply
  8. highlights says

    November 7, 2006 at 03:05

    notes of change, soul music

    Reply
  9. highlights says

    November 7, 2006 at 04:53

    notes of change, orchestrating soul music

    a bit more of a story ?

    Reply
  10. Melissa says

    November 9, 2006 at 07:52

    Your first one reminds me of a very old apartheid era one:
    FREE MANDELA! … in every cornflakes box.

    Reply
  11. T.Z. says

    November 21, 2006 at 01:45

    Freedom is best when hard earned.
    Toner

    Reply

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